It's Not Easy
by Aeris Tsukiyono
Summary: Tsubasa and Kazuma slowly accept each other. Affection turns into something else, and each must deal with the consequences on their own. (spoilers up to 3rd DVD, possibly later?) Please R&R!!
1. I Don't Understand

Disclaimer: I don't own Kareshi Kanojo no Jijou. Obviously. If I did, the story would be much more focused on Kazuma and Tsubasa.  
  
Author's Note: Hi all!! I've decided to take a break from my FF7 fic. *AT grumbles about her friend not e-mailing her the first five pages of the next chapter of said fic* Anyway, I just watched episodes 12 and 13 of the Kare Kano anime. I was like, wow. Kazuma's mad hot. ^/////^ But there was not enough there to satiate me, so I'll be writing Kare Kano for a while. Basically, because I can and want to. So there.  
  
In this chapter: Tsubasa goes through a normal day that could change her life forever.  
  
Enjoy!!  
  
Chapter 1:  
  
I Don't Understand  
  
It was a long walk from the school to her house. The afternoon sun was always hot, and she forced herself to walk faster. Her feet padded softly against the hard concrete. She could feel the vibrations of her steps traveling up her legs. She walked faster.  
  
Houses passed by slowly. A man walking his dog waved, and she ignored him. Most people were friendly to her. She knew it was only because she was cute. If she looked different somehow, she would never get the attention that she got now.  
  
It was too easy to manipulate people. Whatever she wanted, she got. It was that simple. People tried too hard to think of her as innocent and naïve. She did nothing to dissuade them. She acted how they expected her to act, and no one was able to see through that act.  
  
No one.  
  
Tsubasa stopped at a street corner and looked both ways. No cars were coming. She hurried across the street. Her backpack was slipping, and she hefted it up on her shoulders. Books were getting heavier and heavier every year.  
  
Was it really that strange to act selfishly? She knew she was selfish. She wanted things and got them. She understood that meant she was spoiled. Maybe it was unfair to expect anyone to want to be with her. Her personality was too twisted. No one could ever love her. They might love her fake personality, but not who she really was inside.  
  
Souichiro liked her. He liked her a lot. They understood each other. She could stay with him, and he wouldn't mind. Even if he didn't see her romantically, he would still talk and laugh with her. Maybe that was all she could hope for.  
  
Then Yukino showed up. Who did she think she was, taking Souichiro like that? Tsubasa had known him first. Didn't that count for anything?  
  
There was no hope for it now. Yukino and Souichiro had fallen in love, and they were too close for anyone to come between them. Tsubasa knew they both cared for her, but it was still painful. Being close to them was painful.  
  
She reached the door of her home. A hand slipped into her pocket, and came out with the key. She opened the door and walked inside, flipping the lights on. A note caught her attention. It read:  
  
"Tsubasa,  
  
Things to do- Dishes Laundry Dinner  
  
Thanks honey.  
  
Dad"  
  
She smiled slightly. He needed her. She was the only one who was able to take care of the house, since he worked all day. Doing the chores was never a burden on her. They proved how much he needed her there.  
  
She quietly hummed a song that had been stuck in her head all day. She walked into the kitchen and turned on the faucet. The cold water felt great on her hands, but she hurriedly turned it to hot. She squeezed a small amount of dish detergent out on the sponge, and began to scrub the dishes thoroughly. The song ended, and she started over again.  
  
The laundry was easier. All of the dirty clothes were already in the hamper. She took out the laundry basket, and piled all of the clothes onto it. She carried it down the hallway, grabbing detergent along the way. Once both were in the machine, she nodded to herself and turned away.  
  
Dinner was always the hardest. She wanted to make something that daddy would be happy to eat when he came home. What if he didn't like what she cooked for him? It was a worry that was constantly on her mind. It hadn't happened so far, but the worry was always there.  
  
As she was preparing dinner, the laundry machine stopped. She paused and hurried to put the clothes in the dryer with a sheet of fabric softener. She went back to her meal with confidence.  
  
By the time everything was complete, daddy came home. He paused in the hall to take off his shoes, then went into the kitchen.  
  
"Hi, honey."  
  
"Hi, daddy. I just finished making dinner."  
  
"Mmm. smells good. What are we having?"  
  
"Shoga-yaki and gyoza dumplings," she replied as they sat down at the table.  
  
"Itadakimasu!"  
  
They ate in relative silence, both completely lost in thought. Tsubasa barely tasted any of what she made. He wasn't saying anything. Did that mean he didn't like it, and was too nice to tell her? Normally they made conversation, but he was acting different. Should she say something? Maybe she should. Maybe it would ease the tension a bit.  
  
"How was work, daddy?"  
  
"Fine."  
  
.....  
  
Okay, that didn't work. Maybe it really was her. She probably did something to upset him. It would be better to keep quiet until she found out what was wrong. It didn't have to be her. It could be any number of things. She should just keep quiet.  
  
So she did.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Later that night, Tsubasa was doing the dishes once again when her father asked to speak with her. She agreed immediately and put the dishes on hold. Talking with her father was much more important than doing dishes ever could be.  
  
She walked into the living room and sat down next to him.  
  
"Tsubasa, I need to discuss something with you."  
  
She nodded, eager to hear whatever had been troubling him. It was too much for her to take anymore, just sitting there waiting.  
  
"Well, you see, when you were in the hospital I met a nurse there. Ikeda Hiromi. I was having a really hard time dealing with everything, and she helped me out a lot." He looked up to see her reaction, but there was nothing to see. "Anyway, we ended up going out together a few times. We really like each other, Tsubasa." Still no reaction from her. "We're thinking of getting remarried. How do you feel about that?"  
  
The silence was deafening. How did she feel? How did she feel about another woman, a harlot, sneaking in and taking her daddy away from her? She knew exactly how she felt about that!  
  
"How do I feel?" she repeated dully, letting the words sink in.  
  
Her father waited nervously. He knew she would have a strong opinion on this, one way or the other. He just hoped she could agree with him.  
  
"Why?" Tsubasa looked up at her daddy before continuing. "Why do you want to marry? I do everything around here! What do you need that I don't do? I do whatever you tell me too! Why would you want to get remarried?"  
  
"Tsubasa, I know this is difficult for you. But please try to understand how I feel. I-"  
  
"How you feel? That's easy enough. You want some woman to pretend to be my mother. What's wrong with you?! Can't you see that I don't want anyone coming here?!"  
  
"Tsubasa."  
  
"No!!" She stood up and faced him defiantly. He knew she didn't realize she was crying. "I don't care what you have to say. I don't want you to remarry! I don't want someone to come between us! I don't!!"  
  
"Tsubasa, calm down-"  
  
"Why would you do this?!" she cried, pacing back and forth in front of the couch. "I don't understand..... I don't understand you at all!!"  
  
Tsubasa ran out of the room, slamming her bedroom door shut behind her. 


	2. A Little Too Happy

Disclaimer: I don't own Kareshi Kanojo no Jijou. SURPRISE!!!!!!!  
  
Author's Note: Hi again!! So you're back for more, eh? That's okay. I don't mind. ^__^ I'll get back to Forgotten Childhood soon, don't worry..... ^.~*  
  
In this chapter: Toshiharu and Hiromi meet for the first time.  
  
Enjoy!!  
  
Chapter 2:  
  
A Little Too Happy  
  
There were too many corridors. He ran down each one, frantically searching. It had to be here somewhere. It just had to. He knew she was on this floor. Where was she? Where was she?!  
  
What had happened? How had he gotten to this point? Everything seemed fine this morning. There were no warnings or symbols that let him know something would happen today. No divine message, no weird feelings, not even a small twinge of knowledge.  
  
Weren't you supposed to know when something awful happened to someone you cared about? Weren't you supposed to have some sort of feeling about it? That's what he had always thought. Did that mean he didn't care about her enough? Or maybe he missed it. Maybe he was busy with his work and because of that he didn't pick up on whatever it was he should have seen. How could he have been so careless?  
  
He ran blindly, dodging around people and inanimate objects. He wanted to hurl both out of his way, but ended up just running faster. What would he do if she left him? How could he survive without her? Oh, god. How could he survive alone?  
  
It had been so hard when his wife died. The pain was still there, even if it had subsided through time. It still hurt. He tried to think about other things, but his daughter looked so much like her mother that it was impossible to forget.  
  
He didn't want to, anyway. He didn't want to forget.  
  
He turned a corner and immediately bumped into something. He fell to the ground, muttering a curse, and heard someone in front of him make a small noise. He raised a hand to his head and glanced up, eyes narrowed with irritation.  
  
A woman was standing there. She had short, dark hair and a surprised expression on her face. She was wearing a nurse's uniform, and several files were scattered on the floor around her.  
  
"Oh," she said, holding a hand up to her mouth. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't see you coming, and-"  
  
"No, no, it was completely my fault. I was running through the halls without even looking where I was going."  
  
The woman began collecting the disordered files, and he helped her.  
  
"Thank you," she said.  
  
"You're welcome," he replied. A thought struck him, and he glanced at her quickly. "Umm... could you possibly tell me where room 328 is? I've been looking for it everywhere, and I just can't seem to find it."  
  
She smiled and pointed further down the hall. "Go to the end of this hall and make a right. It's the second door on your left."  
  
He thanked her again, then hurried off. There were other things on his mind right now besides a pretty nurse that he had bumped into. He followed her directions, and saw Shibahime Tsubasa written next to the door. He sighed thankfully and walked inside.  
  
There she was, lying on the bed. Her eyes were closed, so she was either unconscious or sleeping. He hoped it was the latter. Her hair was spread out all across the pillow, and he was reminded once again of how beautiful his daughter really was. He walked up to her and placed his hand on top of hers.  
  
She didn't move. She didn't make a sound. She didn't acknowledge his presence at all. Did she even know he was there? Would she be all right? Please, let her be all right!  
  
His eyes moved around to study the wires that were going in and out of her. What were they all for? Were they really necessary? He was told that she had fallen in a skate-boarding accident, and been trapped under rock for a day. How did he not realize that she wasn't at a friend's house? He should have been more responsible. He should have been suspicious the minute she didn't call him like she usually did.  
  
The wires ran to a small machine that was monitoring her heart rate. At least, that's what he thought it did. Was she really in that much trouble that they needed a machine like that? What had happened during that day she was trapped? He could only wonder and worry about it, since she was not going to be able to give him any answers anytime soon.  
  
So he pulled up a chair, sat, wondered, worried, and waited.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
She stood outside the door and watched him. It might not have been the best decision she ever made, but there was something about that man that she knew was different. He was obviously good looking, but it went even farther than that. She had the sudden urge to get to know him better.  
  
It didn't happen that day, or the day after that. But the third day was when she next spoke with him. By then he was getting used to the staff, and she felt more confident about going up to him. She wondered if he would remember her, then dismissed the thought. Why should he? She was just someone who he had bumped into once. There was no reason for her to feel the way she did about him. No reason at all. Yet she did, and she had no idea why.  
  
She was walking to the room next to Tsubasa's when he called out to her.  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"Hmm?" she asked, turning.  
  
"Hi."  
  
"Oh, hi." This was completely unexpected. He started the conversation. How should she act? What should she say? She never knew how to act around prospective love interests anymore. Not since the incident with her husband.....  
  
"I've been looking around for you."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"I wanted to apologize to you for acting so rude the other day."  
  
"Oh....."  
  
"I can see I've offended you greatly, please-"  
  
"Oh, no, no! I wasn't offended, don't worry! I know how hectic people can get when their loved ones are in the hospital. Don't worry about it. I'm fine."  
  
"That's good," he replied. He smiled then, showing off a set of perfect teeth.  
  
"So, how's she doing?" she asked, gesturing towards Tsubasa. "I heard she's making excellent progress."  
  
He nodded. "The doctor said she'll be fine in a few more days. They need to do tests or something."  
  
"They're just trying to get more money," she said, jokingly.  
  
"..... Seriously?"  
  
She shook her head and waved her hands in front of her face. "No, no- it was a joke! A joke!"  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Well, I have to go."  
  
"Oh, yeah. Sorry. You've got a job to do."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Thanks a lot."  
  
"No problem," she replied, wondering what he was thanking her for.  
  
"Umm....."  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"What's your name?"  
  
"Ikeda Hiromi. What's yours?"  
  
"Shibahime Toshiharu."  
  
She nodded in response. "Okay then."  
  
"Good-bye."  
  
"See you later."  
  
She turned and walked away, feeling foolish for the smile that crept onto her face.  
  
When he asked her out days later, she didn't feel so foolish anymore.  
  
Oh no, not foolish at all. Maybe a little too happy, though. 


	3. Everything's Perfect

Disclaimer: I don't own Kare Kano. Think about it- would I be writing FAN- fiction if I owned it? Hmm?  
  
Author's Note: Wow, I'm really ripping through these today. Let's see if I can get another one in before midnight, when the library closes and I'll be ejected from my computer forcefully. o_0;; And, in case you couldn't tell, Ikeda Kazuma is my favorite character!! EEEEEEE!!!!!!! I love my Kazuma- chan!! ^.~*  
  
In this chapter: A look at Kazuma's life.  
  
Enjoy!!  
  
Chapter 3:  
  
Everything's Perfect  
  
It pounded in his ears. He could feel it flowing through his blood. His veins throbbed in time with the beat, his heart beat faster at each new note in the song. His breath caught in his throat, and the final note echoed long after the song had ended.  
  
The silence afterwards was deafening.  
  
"Yo, that was awesome!"  
  
"Dude, you rock man!"  
  
"That was great!"  
  
"We rule!!"  
  
Congratulations were being passed around enthusiastically. Kazuma knew his bandmates well, and he knew they were really pleased with their new song. He felt exactly the same way, of course. This song..... it just felt better than the other songs they played. It wasn't of a higher caliber or anything, but the music really called to him.  
  
Maybe that was why he felt so great when it was going on. Then again, he really did love music. Almost any kind of music. It didn't really matter what the song was about, or who the artist was. As long as the beat of the song was good, he could listen to anything.  
  
And enjoy it. Oh, yes, he loved music. It was his life. He wrote song lyrics and notes during school. He hummed when he was alone, and carried a Discman the way others carried expensive jewelry. It didn't matter what everyone else thought of him, not really. As long as he had his music to rely on, he could handle anything that came his way.  
  
He packed up his guitar and waved good-bye to the band. They all could stay out later than he could, since they were older than him. Shouts of praise and good luck followed him out the door.  
  
It was cold outside. The days were getting hotter, and the nights colder. Once again, he had forgotten his jacket. He sighed, knowing that a long walk was waiting for him.  
  
Kazuma's ratty sneakers moved quickly down the street. His feet knew the way home, so his mind was free to wander as it pleased. Which was a good thing. He always felt so creative after a session with the band. He wondered how he ever lived without them.  
  
Well, there had been a time when he had nothing. That was all in the past now, but it was still there. It still came up to remind him of what he might still be doing, if not for the band.  
  
The past was a bleak, monotonous time. School was dull, and homework was either too easy or not worth doing. Friends were few and far between, but not by choice. He tried to be open with people, but one too many false friendships taught him to be more careful about who he spent time with.  
  
Not that he had much choice in the matter. He accepted people as they were, even if they were out to cause mischief. He, in fact, liked causing mischief, as long as no one was hurt. Not everyone had the same feeling about it, though.  
  
So friends were an unfortunate rarity. Home was..... well, home was a place where he ate and slept. That was it.  
  
It was painful to think about how lonely home really was. How painful it was to go home day after day to an empty house. No greeting waited for him, no shout of joy or welcome. Even a grunt of recognition would have been better than nothing.  
  
But nothing awaited him every time he opened that door.  
  
Not that it was his mom's fault. His dad was completely out of the picture, and his mom had to work all sorts of weird hours. She was a nurse, after all, and the hospital never knew when they would need her. They tried to keep her on a normal schedule, but somehow it never worked out that way. There always seemed to be some reason that she had to stay- someone she had to help, or something that wouldn't get done without her there to see it through. Was he supposed to just tell her that he didn't care if people needed her help? 'No, mom, don't go to the hospital and help those injured people. Stay home and say hi to me. Okay?' Yeah, that made him a real winner, didn't it? Honestly, how selfish could he be?  
  
He tried not to think that way, but his thoughts always ended up circling back there anyway. How was he supposed to avoid such an important issue? He tried different ways of dealing with the pain of being alone, but nothing seemed to work.  
  
Every day, he was just as alone as he had been the day before.  
  
Nothing ever changed.  
  
No matter much he wanted it to.  
  
Sometimes he dreamed about getting a younger sibling. That way, he'd have someone to talk to, someone who'd be there when he wanted company, someone who'd accept him no matter what. He couldn't tell his mom that, but he still thought about it. It would be so nice, to have someone who understood you even when you were having trouble understanding yourself.  
  
Would a sibling do that? Could a sibling understand what he was going through? Maybe. Or maybe it was too much to hope for that anyone could understand him. He didn't understand any of his friends. At least, not on the level that he wanted. Could anyone ever understand him more than his friends did? Was it too much to hope for, that someone could know and like him?  
  
A younger sibling would be nice. They would be great friends. They'd be able to tell each other anything, and be completely honest with one another.  
  
It was nice to think about.  
  
He picked up his pace a little, and focused on the road ahead of him. Maybe it was a little too late to hope for someone like that. Maybe it was just a futile dream, something that he could hope and hope for but would never get. Well, if that's all it was then he'd deal with it. It wouldn't kill him to never find someone like that. He'd been doing fine so far, hadn't he?  
  
Especially since he joined YinYang. They were a great group, and he loved working with them. He had always loved music, but lately it had become more and more important to him than before. Both listening to and creating music were taking up a lot more of his time.  
  
His mother didn't seem to mind. She encouraged him to try whatever he wanted to do. She was great like that. Whenever he wanted to try something new, she always was there giving him support. Even if they couldn't see each other every day, and almost never ate together, she was still around. She mattered a lot to him.  
  
He didn't know what he would have done if she said that she didn't approve of him joining a band. Could he have gone against her? He doubted it. They almost never disagreed, and when they did it was over something so small that they came to terms with it easily. It was a good thing she hadn't disagreed with him on music. It was such an important part of his life that he just might have gone against her, and then he had no idea about what might have happened. He was happy that entire scenario had been avoided.  
  
His house key was in his hand without even thinking about it, and he unlocked the door. Kazuma walked inside and was greeted with an odd sight.  
  
His mother was standing there, making dinner.  
  
"Hi, Kazuma," she said. "How was your day?"  
  
Kazuma stared at her slack-jawed, and nodded wordlessly. She had just greeted him. He walked into his own house- HIS house- and he'd been greeted. He didn't know what to do.  
  
So he walked up to her, and hugged her. She stopped making dinner and tried to turn her head to look at him.  
  
"Kazuma? Is everything okay?"  
  
"Yeah, mom. Everything's perfect." 


	4. Like Everyone Else

Disclaimer: If you're reading this, you undoubtedly know that Kare Kano isn't mine. I'll let you all know anyway, just in case by some miracle you might happen to think that I own anything more than a debt on E-Bay. Kare Kano isn't mine.  
  
Author's Note: Well, FFN is down. Which sucks for us all. This is the fourth chapter I'm writing in one night, but I could only post the first two. Sad, isn't it? I thought so. Here's another fun fic in the land of Kazuma/Tsubasa. Most of you probably know what's coming up this time, but hey- I try to be original even if it fails miserably. This one will probably be extremely short, since I wanted to post this in the third chapter but didn't. Ah, well- I really liked the way I ended it anyway. ^__^*  
  
In this chapter: Hiromi speaks with Kazuma about remarriage.  
  
Enjoy!!  
  
Chapter 4:  
  
Like Everyone Else  
  
He didn't hear the first knock on his door.  
  
Or the second.  
  
Or the third.  
  
By the time his mother knocked a fourth time, the song was over, and he heard her. If she was irritated when he finally answered, she didn't show it.  
  
"Kazuma, can we talk?"  
  
"Sure," he replied, confusion evident in his eyes. He followed his mom to the dining room, where they both pulled out a chair and sat down.  
  
"So, what's up?" he asked.  
  
His mom looked at him and he immediately knew it was something serious. She never looked at him that way unless it was something serious. He was either in trouble with the law, or someone had died. He hadn't done anything illegal anytime recently, so he was guessing someone had gone to the great big rock concert in the sky.  
  
"Who died?" he asked, voicing his thoughts.  
  
She looked startled. "Huh?"  
  
"You look like someone died."  
  
"No, no one died," she replied, shaking her head swiftly.  
  
"Oh." Well, that idea was out. What else could it be? Maybe he had done something illegal recently..... Could you break the law without knowing it? Probably. He had heard that in some places it was against the law to do weird stuff- like count cows and stuff like that. He hadn't counted any cows recently, but he had stopped and stared at a squirrel that had ran out in front of him when he had been walking to school. But really, that was just-  
  
"Kazuma," she began. His thoughts came to an abrupt halt, and he devoted his attention to her. "You know I spend a lot of time at the hospital." He nodded, and she continued. "Well, you see, one day I was running some errands and I bumped into a man. Literally. Well, it ended up that the man's daughter was a patient."  
  
"Okay," he replied.  
  
"Okay. Right. So we began to talk, and we met up again a few days later. Well, he asked me out, and we started to go on dates. Remember the man I told you about a few days ago?"  
  
"Yeah." He had no idea what she was talking about.  
  
"Okay, well it's the same guy, you see? And I really like him, and he really likes me. We really like each other. You know I haven't really done any dating since your father, but I thought it was about time to give it another go."  
  
"Mm-hmm."  
  
"So we dated for a while, and we decided that we might like to get married." She waited for the shock of that to sick in, but his face remained the same. "Now, I know this comes as a shock to you, but I want you to know that I won't do anything without your approval. I really do love Shibahime-san, and I think we could make a nice life together. I think you'll really like him."  
  
"Mom," Kazuma interrupted. She stopped. "I just want you to be happy. Whatever you want is fine by me. I really don't care what you do, as long as you're happy."  
  
She looked at him, then continued. "He's got a daughter your age. They're a rich family, but they're not snobs. He's very kind, and caring. She seems nice too, although I haven't met her yet. I've only seen her from the door of her room. I didn't want to get her upset during her recovery."  
  
"Mom." She stopped again. "I told you already. I'm fine with it. I'm fine with whatever you decide. Please don't worry about me. Just do what you want to. It's okay with me."  
  
She looked at him hopefully. "Really?"  
  
"Really."  
  
"You're sure?"  
  
He laughed. "Yes! Mom, I'm sure. Just do what you want."  
  
She smiled and nodded. "Okay, then."  
  
"Okay." He waited a moment, then got up. "I'm going back to my room now."  
  
"Okay. Have fun."  
  
He nodded and walked back to his room. Once the door was shut behind him, he turned on some music and laid down on his bed.  
  
This man his mother wanted to marry had a daughter his age. He was being honest when he said that he didn't care what his mother did. He really only wanted her to be happy. Besides, he couldn't imagine not liking a guy that his mom had picked out. He was a little worried, of course, but he knew he had to support her. It must be difficult for her to deal with all the stress of her job alone. She needed someone there to support her.  
  
Someone besides her son.  
  
He sighed and turned to face the ceiling. But this man's daughter, he wondered what she was like. There might be some problems with the band if they found out about her. They were all really nice guys, but they tended to be a little too..... forward when it came to women. If they knew that he lived in the same house as a girl his age, there might be some issues.  
  
Well, he'd worry about that when it came up. Right now, he wondered what she was like. Could she possibly be the sibling that he was waiting for?  
  
He hoped so.  
  
Otherwise, what point was there in getting a sister? He shouldn't get too attached to the idea. She might turn out to be just like everyone else.  
  
In fact, she probably would be. His mom said these people were rich, right? If you're rich, there's just a certain way you act that's different than if you're poor. How would she react when she saw him? He knew he couldn't pretend to be something that he wasn't, but he didn't want to be too intimidating either. If he scared her off, he would never forgive himself.  
  
Then again, if he scared her off, then she really was not the person he was looking for. If he scared her off, she would be just like everyone else.  
  
Exactly like everyone else. 


	5. Give It Time

Disclaimer: I don't own Kare Kano. Does this really surprise you? It shouldn't. You ARE reading fanfiction, after all.  
  
Author's Note: Okay, I have made an important decision!! Although no one reads this, I will continue to write Kazuma/Tsubasa fics!! Why, you ask? Simple. I need a break from Forgotten Childhood, and I need more Kazuma/Tsubasa stuff. I've also got multiple other one-shots in the works, and a massive Taito fic. But I'm planning at least four or five more of this series, probably more. Okay, so even if no one reads this, I will continue to write!!!!!!! Yeah!!!!!!! *gives self moral support* If you do read this, please R&R!!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!! I'M BEGGING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
In this chapter: Tsubasa reflects on her first meeting with Kazuma.  
  
Enjoy!!  
  
Chapter 5:  
  
Give It Time  
  
Who did he think he was?  
  
Showing up late, looking like a rocker yaro, and smiling at her like a freak. Then, as if all that wasn't enough, he thought she was in middle school!! Their parents had tried to get him to understand, but then he thought she was in elementary school!! Oh, she had a thing or two to say to him about that!  
  
How could he think that? Didn't his mother, the harlot, tell him that she was older then he was? That she would be his OLDER sister? What was he THIKING? WAS he thinking??  
  
Oh, she was mad. She was ticked off. What gave him the right to go and assume things about her? Didn't he understand how normal people acted in front of strangers? Wasn't he supposed to be making a good impression on her, or something??  
  
Why, oh why, did her father have to pick out a woman who had a punk son like him?! It was bad enough that he wanted to get remarried, but now she might be getting a brother like HIM?! Who could ever possibly want a brother like that guy? He was completely disrespectful, not to mention a lowlife who had no future at all.  
  
Ugh- why did these sorts of things always happen to her? Couldn't things go right in her life for once? Just for one time, she'd like SOMETHING to turn out good for her!  
  
Was that really too much to ask?  
  
Apparently, it was. She hoped that she never saw that loser or his mother again. It was too painful to sit there, watching that woman try and be her mother. She didn't need a mother. She was fine by herself. She had daddy. Even if he wanted to find someone else, she would still be fine. She was fine alone. She didn't need anyone there. She didn't need support from someone else- she was just fine by herself.  
  
She had always been fine by herself. And now, look what had happened. Her daddy wanted to be with that woman and her rocker yaro son. Why did this have to happen?  
  
More importantly, did he want this to happen? Would her father only be happy if he married this woman? She didn't want her daddy to be unhappy, but at the same time, she didn't want to be stuck living with that rocker.  
  
Wasn't there another way to make him happy? All her life, she had tried and tried to do everything for her daddy. But that hadn't been enough, had it? She hadn't been able to be everything her daddy needed, so he had to turn elsewhere.  
  
Fine. That was fine with her. Let him turn away from her. Let him go and be with that other woman. If that's what he wanted so badly, then she thought he should get it.  
  
But she wouldn't agree to it. She could never agree to anything that made her as miserable as this marriage would. She didn't want those people to move into her house. She didn't want them to invade her world.  
  
She didn't want them to take her daddy away from her.  
  
But she couldn't do anything about.  
  
If she said no, what would he do? Would he agree with her and go back to the way things used to be? Somehow, she doubted that.  
  
Well, then, what if he agreed with her but was upset all the time? If he was always miserable when he came home, and he never seemed to be happy ever again? She would know that it was all her fault, and she would blame herself and feel guilty. There seemed to be no good solution.  
  
Maybe it was better to just give up. But then her daddy would go and marry this woman, she'd get a rocker yaro brother, and everything would go to hell.  
  
Hmm.....  
  
.....  
  
.....  
  
She'd have to think it through carefully.  
  
She didn't want to push her father away, but she couldn't agree to this marriage.  
  
.....  
  
No easy solution this time.  
  
.....  
  
She'd definitely have to think this over carefully.  
  
What answer would give her the ending she wanted? What choice would make her daddy agree to go back to how everything used to be?  
  
Would he be able to go back to that, now that he's met that woman?  
  
She sighed, and let her mind wander. Stupid harlot. Stupid rocker yaro. Middle school, indeed. What was wrong with him anyway? Did she look that young? She knew she looked younger than the people in her class, but she had always chalked it up to being cute. Not looking like she was ten!  
  
Punk rocker yaro. Didn't know what he was talking about. Couldn't even dress properly. Bleached hair, and that skull necklace! Ugh, it gave her shivers just thinking about it.  
  
Rocker yaro.....  
  
How could he ever be her brother? How would she ever grow to like someone like that?  
  
And why, in God's name why, did her father have to remarry?  
  
She leaned back and began to play with the ends of her hair. She'd think it through more tomorrow. For right now, though, she just needed sleep.  
  
Maybe she'd think of something in the morning.  
  
She HAD to think of something in the morning.  
  
There was no other available option for her. Think of something, or get a mother and brother. Something would come to her.  
  
She only had to give it time. 


	6. Brotherly Love

Disclaimer: What's that you say? You think Kare Kano is mine? Well, let me assure you that it does not belong to me. I make no money from this, trust me. -__-;;;  
  
Author's Note: I'm back to the land of no reviews!! Here's Kazuma's thoughts. Yay and joy and fun. ^.~*  
  
In this chapter: Kazuma reflects on his first meeting with Tsubasa.  
  
Enjoy!!  
  
Chapter 6:  
  
Brotherly Love  
  
This was bad.  
  
There was no way that this situation could be described as being good in any sort of way at all. No one in their right minds would see what had just happened as a good thing.  
  
Then again, maybe no one else would have made the same stupid mistake that he did. High school..... He still couldn't believe it. How could she be in high school? She was OLDER than him.  
  
He shook his head and closed his eyes. It was an incomprehensible thought. But he'd have to get used to it. She looked so cute and young. He had just figured she was younger than he was.  
  
Yes, his mother had said they were the same age. But, he thought she must have been mistaken once he saw her.  
  
He banged his head against the wall multiple times, then leaned against it. He really did make a fool out of himself.  
  
But even then, why did she overreact so much? She must have been used to people thinking she was really young. Why did it bother her so much that he thought it, too? Was he more important somehow?  
  
Well, of course he was. He might be her brother. It made sense that she would get angrier over something he did. He had been trying to make a good impression, but still be himself. Otherwise, she'd get to know someone who wasn't really him.  
  
But he had made a stupid mistake, and she had blown up. Literally. Ugh, he felt so stupid. She had taken it way harder than he would have thought. It was obvious she was totally against him now.  
  
He had really screwed himself over there. She was so cute, too. He had been looking forward to having a cute little sister- older sister.  
  
OLDER sister.  
  
But he obviously blew it. She must have thought he was horrible. That's the way it seemed, at least. She probably was at her house right now, cursing him for everything she was worth. It really was a bad move on his part. Normally he was more tactful than that. It must have been the stress.  
  
That was it. He felt all weird since he was going to meet who might be his new father and sister. Truthfully, he didn't really care who his mother married. As long as she was happy. But, he still wanted to check the guy out.  
  
And, Shibehime-san had been very nice. He seemed like a really nice guy, and he obviously loved Kazuma's mother very much. He could tell that Shibehime would be a good thing in his mom's life.  
  
So, after that was taken care of, he began to regard Tsubasa. He had noticed her first. She was hard to miss. Although she was short, she was so cute that he found it impossible to tear his eyes away from her for long. All he could think about was how that little girl would be his sister. It didn't even occur to him that she might not like him. He tried being nice to her, by giving her his dessert, by she freaked out. Was he really that scary? He had worn his nice black shirt just to look decent, but he refused to not wear something on his neck. He loved collars and chains and such.  
  
His hand reached up to his neck and fingered the necklace that was still there. It seemed fine to him, but she had stared at it like it was going to bite her or something.  
  
Well, there was nothing he could do about it now. He had insulted her severely, and there wasn't much he could do about it. He didn't think she'd ever want to see him again.  
  
The thought made him sad, and he frowned. Had he really made that big of a bad impression on her? Was she really so insulted that she would refuse to even see him again? That could definitely make things complicated. Well, he would do what he could to help her out, but there was no guarantee that she'd be willing to even listen to him.  
  
Still, he should try to apologize to her. It hardly seemed fair to insult someone so badly and then just ignore them.  
  
No, he would try and apologize to her, and he'd have to see whether or not she'd accept it. After all, there was no guarantee that she would even listen to him.  
  
But even if she would listen, how on earth would he find her? He could ask his mom where the Shibehime's lived, but that seemed wrong. How could he just show up at her house when she was so ticked off at him?  
  
What a mess he had gotten himself into. Well, he could only hope that she would listen to him. If she didn't even hear him out, there wasn't much he could do to soothe her.  
  
And for some reason, he wanted to soothe her. Oh, yes. For some unknown, foreign reason, he wanted to soothe her very much.  
  
He figured it was brotherly love. 


End file.
